Brassed off

The Skipper has been busily polishing brass on board over the last couple of days and I do possess a lot of bright work that I like to see kept cleaned and polished.

One of the reasons why he fell in love with me was because I had so much traditional shiny brass on board and I know he does like to see me looking pretty.

At first there was such promise.

I have to say though that keeping it all nice and shiny I've noticed now, is a bit too much like hard work for the ‘Old Man’! We’ve been here in Warwick for nearly four months now and in that time he has totally neglected it.

I know why too. He’s been far too busy gadding off to see friends... And all the rest... Huh!

In fact he’s been doing just about anything as an excuse for not cleaning my brasses!....

How uncouth!

But there is a lot of brass on board I do have to admit, both outside and in and it’s much more than a day’s work for anyone to clean the whole lot in one go.   T h a t ’s  w h y  i t’s  m o s t  i m p o r t a n t  t o  d o  a  b i t  e a c h  d a y ..... to keep up with it.

And that’s what I keep trying to make him understand....

Otherwise it gets out of hand, I try my hardest to telepathise ..... It never goes away, that’s for sure. So it’s never any good adopting the ostrich complex. Our Skipper never seems to be able to learn that for some reason.

But he’s devious now too and cheating. The other day he bought himself a big tin of lacquer and as he polishes a piece of brass now, he paints it with this concoction, would you believe, hoping that nobody will notice the difference.... And he looks so pleased with himself too.

Well I’ve noticed for a start!

And at first I was a bit indignant about it. It was making me feel like.... artificial or something. But on giving the matter some more thought, it means that at least the brass will remain shiny for longer and even though it’s not real it’s better than having it look shabby and brown as it did before.

As the expression goes... I shall just have to make do with small... phenomenons! Ooh err!... You know the one I mean anyway.

And of course all girls like to look a bit decent these days don’t they? .... And any help they can get from makeup is gratefully accepted, especially as they get a bit older.

So don’t tell him you know his guilty secret when you come aboard for my sake, will you? Just say how nice it all looks and cringe at the look of self satisfaction that comes across his face.